White people who attend Greenwood Acres Full Gospel Baptist Church in Shreveport, La will receive $5 an hour for coming to Sunday services and $10 an hour for Thursday services. The offer by Bishop Fred Caldwell is aimed at increasing the diversity of the churches congregation, "I just want the kingdom of God to look like it's supposed to," Caldwell said, "There ain't going to be ghettos in Heaven.

 

-July 14, 2002-

 

This one happened in Regina, Saskatchewan.

 

A man who broke into a church rectory & stole a cross claiming "demons were after him" has been sentenced to four months in jail.

 

A provincial judge sentenced Rainey Oakes after the Maple Creek area man pleaded guilty to one count of break & enter & commit theft.

 

The Regina Police Service was called to St. Mary's Catholic Church at around 4:45 a.m. where they found an intoxicated Rainey standing in the street outside the church holding a 60 centimetre long cross.

 

Oakes cut his arm breaking into the building through a window & required four stitches.

 

Bellerose ordered a mental health assessment when Oakes first appeared in court on July 2.

 

The assessment report said he had a serious alcohol problem

 

(We at CoLA think Oakes had a serious problem with the "spirits".)

 

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-February 24, 2002-

 

Mihailo Tolotos, a Greek monk who died at the age of 82, never saw a woman. His mother died when he was born and he was promptly taken to a monastery on top of Mount Athos, where he lived until his death in 1938. Women - and even female animals - are strictly forbidden from entering the monastery.

( Never saw a woman in his entire 82 years? Even if this story is true, what are the odds of this happening? We, at CoLA, must think this is a first.)

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-February 4, 2002-

Here is a tidbit from Sex News Daily

A Catholic priest in Chile is planning to build a bonfire of condoms & safe sex leaflets.

Father Enrique Opaso is unhappy that the country's AIDS prevention body wants to distribute contraceptives to young people along the beaches of his parish.

He says handing out free condoms to young people makes it difficult for them to keep an open mind about responsible sexuality.

He told the Las Ultimas Noticias newspaper: "Anyone can guess what could happen if a condom falls into the hands of a young boy or girl. If they hand them out here, I will collect them & burn them."

The priest is planning to burn the condoms & leaflets on a giant pyre outside his parish church if the Conasida campaign goes ahead.

"I'm not against condoms per se," he said. "But I want to show young people there are other alternatives such as abstinence & stable partners."

(Eek! We at CoLA think teens should be shown or guided into making their own decisions by teaching them how to think as opposed to being told what to think. The sex drive & the urge to have sex has been around longer than the Catholic Church. But nothing like an oxymoron of having a single, celibate priest making decisions for others on sexual matters. But did he state on what exactly would happen if a teen got hold of a condom? Maybe it would lead to responsible sexuality?)
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A member of CoLA sent in this joke called the "Golfing Preacher."

There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could ger he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky & the temperature was just right.

The preacher was in quandary as to what to do & shortly the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick & could not do church. The pastor packed the car up & drove 3 hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily he began to play the course.

An angel up above was watching the preacher & was quite perturbed. He went to God & said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."

God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, it sailed effortlessly through the air & landed right in the cup 350 yards away. A picture perfect hole in one. He was amazed & excited.

The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God & said, "Begging Your pardon but I thought you were going to punish him?"

God smiled. "Think about it - who can he tell?"
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-January 10, 2002-

Here is something that was passed along to us at CoLA by Mother Superior.

Grandma bought a bumper sticker for her old Buick & a few days later she wrote this letter to her son.

Dear Son:

The other day I dropped in at the religious book store at the mall & they had some "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper stickers. I bought one & put it on the back bumper of my car & I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience.

I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord & didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked!

I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must really love the Lord because pretty soon he leaned out his window & yelled; "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. Why, it was like a football game with him shouting; "Go for Christ's sake, go!!"

Eveyone else started honking too, so I leaned out my window & waved & smiled to all those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach & I saw him waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I had recently asked my two grandsons what that meant. They told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign, so I leaned out the window & gave him the good luck sign back.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars & were walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray but just then I noticed that the light had changed & I stepped on the gas. It's a good thing I did because I was the only car to get across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned out the window, gave them a big smile & held up the Hawaiian Good Luck sign as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.

Love ya all,

Grandma